Never been kissed
by angela123111
Summary: Madeline goes to her mother, crying. She confesses that she and Ivan has never kissed even though they've been dating for a year, because of two people. RussiaXfem!Canada. Fem!France
1. Chapter 1

"Mama!" Madeline cried out, sobbing. She ran into Marianne's arms.

"Mon petit! What's wrong?" Marianne asked as she tried to wipe some of the tears off with her sleeve.

"It's Ivan. He.." Madeline sobbed harder.

"What did he do?" Marianne asked as her face darkened.

"He didn't do anything. It's just Natalia keeps breaking in on our dates and he can't say no. We end up, running away as fast as we can with her yelling at us."

Marianne looked thoughtful at this. "Really?"

"It's horrible. Ivan and I have been dating for almost a year and we haven't had a proper date at all! And.." She sobbed again unable to finish the sentence.

Marianne put her in a chair and gave her some tissues. Madeline took them and wiped some tears away.

"And what was it you wanted to say?" Marianne asked.

Madeline's voice softened. "We haven't..."

"Haven't what? Sex? If that's what it is, I'm ready to drive him away with my guillotine!" Marianne exclaimed in anger.

"No, no we wouldn't do that, the thing is.." Madeline then whispered into her ear.

"WHAT? You haven't kissed!" Marianne exclaimed.

"Shh." Madeline blushed. "It's embarrasing."

"How is that possible?" Marianne gasped. "It only took me one hour to get a kiss from your father, then in 3 months got him to propose!"

"But Mama, you forced yourself on him and then coerced him to marry you."

"Well, that's how we Bonnefoys are." Marianne looked pitiful at Madeline. "You really haven't kissed?"

"Yes, it's because everytime we were going to kiss. She was right there screeching and the only time that hadn't happened was when Alfred was right there ready to kill Ivan."

"Why was he there?" Marianne asked.

"Alfred is a good step-brother, but a bit overprotective. I think he follows me when I say I'm going to see Ivan. "

"I see. Let me talk to him." Marianne looked into the distance.

"You aren't going to hurt him, are you?" Madeline worried.

"Wha? No of course not." Marainne said, but started planning something entirely different in her.

"Okay, Mama." She sniffled. "I'll leave it all to you."

* * *

><p>Will continue... possibly.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

The door closed and footsteps were heard.

"Alfred, come here for a minute." Marianne said as she sat in her chair in the living room.

"What is it, Mom?" Alfred walked in and plopped on the couch.

"Madeline has told me that you follow her around." She said seriously and squinted at him.

"Huh? Uh." Alfred became scared. "No I just happened to be where ever she was. I swear I wasn't following her."

Marianne stood up. Alfred flinched.

"Please don't kill me!" Alfred wailed as he put his hands up defensively.

"Alfred, you may be my son and I do love you like a real one, but if you ruin Madeline's chances of getting married." Marianne said laced with malice. She leaned in closer. "I will castrate you."

"But Mom! You haven't seen the guy! He may act sweet and innocent but he's evil! If he gets his hands on her, he will beat her or worse! They may run off together and never be seen again!" Alfred wailed again, almost crying. "I don't want that! I was just protecting her!"

"I thought you said you don't follow her!" She roared.

"I'm sorry! I had to though." Alfred started crying now. "Maddie is a princess and Ivan..He's a terrible ogre! A monster! Demon!"

"Madeline does not need protecting. She's a strong and tough girl. She takes after me." Marianne said proudly which just made Alfred pale.

"Oh no, all those men! There will be so much groping. She's not going to be innocent anymore!"

Marianne hit him on the head. "She is not stupid or easy! Don't worry so much!"

"But Mom.."

"No buts, also be a man and ask that sister of his out!" Marianne yelled.

Alfred shut up and then looked away.

"Yes, I know that you like her. Why don't you put all the energy you focus on Madeline on the sister?" She smile cunningly.

".." Alfred looked shamed and uncomfortable.

Marianne rolled her eyes. "If you stop following Madeline everywhere, I'll stop pushing it."

Alfred immediately stood up. "Okay I promise. See ya!"

Marianne watched as he ran upstairs and into his room. "Well, let's hope for the best."


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, I'll meet you then. I love you." Madeline said cheerfully in the phone.

She was currently in her room. She hanged up her phone and laid back on her bed.

She squealed and hugged her stuffed bear. "Kumajira, guess what! Mama fixed my problem with Al. That means!" She squealed again.

"That means what?"

Madeline looked towards her doorway. Her brother stood there fuming.

"Where are you going?" He demanded. "And with who?"

"With whom. And how long have you been there?" Madeline said angrily.

"I asked first." He whined.

"That is none of your business. Now get out or I'll tell Mama." She threatened.

He pouted. "You're meeting with Ivan, aren't you? Why do want to leave me? You keep abandoning me!"

"I do not! And you abandoned me at the park to play with your friends!" She protested.

"We were kids. I didn't know any better!" He yelled.

"Al, it was last month." She said, seriously. "Now leave or I'll show Natalia your naked baby pictures!"

"Fine, I'll leave." He pouted harder. "Also Mom told me to stop following you."

"And?"

Alfred leaves and goes to his room, sulking.

"Weirdo, but I'll have to be more careful. If I know Al as well as I do, he will try to break us up. Right, Kumaji?" She hugged the bear.

In Alfred's room...

"Hey Kiku? Yeah it's Alfred. I need a favor." Alfred smirked into his phone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Um, Alfred-san. Why are we doing this exactly?" Kiku asked Alfred as they hid behind the bushes. They were also in ninjawear and were holding up leaves.

"To protect Maddie. That is the mission, now keep a lookout for them." Alfred whispered to him loudly, then he went back to staring intently at anybody that was is his line of sight.

Unbeknownst to the two of them, someone approached from behind them.

"What the-" The person kicked the bigger ninja hard.

"Ow!" Alfred hollered.

Kiku turned around and saw an irritated Natalia. He trembled in fear.

"Hey, what's the big-" Alfred turned around and saw her. He grinned immediately. "NAT!" He jumped to hug her but got punched in the face.

"Why are you two here, wearing weird clothing?" She asked, with her thick accent.

"For Maddie! She and your brother are here on a date!"

"I know that. The bug told me. Brother thought he could leave without me seeing. Just because he went out of window!" She grumbled angrily at the last part.

"Oh, would you like to stay with me to look for them?" He asked her.

She looks at him. "Fine, but I am not wearing that."

"Kiku, you can go. Thanks for your help."

Kiku bowed and left as fast as he could. She frightens him.

She hunched over behind the bushes. "He is over there." She pointed. "Meeting his little sunflower." She said mockingly with fury.

"Uh..." Alfred couldn't say anything to defend his sister without ruining any shot he would ever have with her. "Here have some binoculars."

"It's okay, I have my own." She brought out her own and started watching her brother.

Alfred was getting distracted between her and watching the couple.

"Ah! They're leaving!" Natalia jumped up and started running after them. Alfred rushed after her.

The next thing he knew, he was in a tree and Natalia was at the edge of a branch.

"Brother!" She leaped out and tackled him. Alfred gasped in surprise. The victim landed face foreward.

Natalia turned the guy around and it was Ravis. He looked terrified and there was a seperate screaming underneath.

"What?" Natalia opened up the jacket. There was Edvard. Natalia became furious.

Alfred jumped out of the tree, falling on his butt but quickly recovered. He looked at what he thought was his sister but it was actually..

"Like omg that was like so weird. Like where didya even come from?" The Polish crossdresser said. He was wearing a long blond wig, beret, and fake glasses.

"Feliks? Wha- Why are you dressed like Maddie?" Alfred asked him.

"Can't you see, you idiot?" Natalia gritted her teeth in anger. "They are a diversion. How could I not tell?" She smacked her forehead.

"It's okay. I got a nifty app that'll tell me where Maddie is." Alfred took out his phone and found the app "iStalker."

"Found her. She's at...a hotel!" Alfred shouted in shock. He then scrambled and started running towards that location. Natalia followed him.

They barged in, got into an elevator, and then proceeded to Alfred banging on the door of the hotel room.

"Maddie, don't do it!" He wailed as he kept hitting the door.

"Move aside." Natalia said, calmly and then she pulled off the doorknob with tremendously scary strength. They went into the room and there is movement in the bed.

"Oh my god! Maddie." Alfred cried, tears.

"Alfred?" The cover was flipped off a little and it was Marianne and underneath her was Arthur.

"Gah, my eyes!" Alfred onto his eyes and hunkered onto the floor. "They burn!"

"Hmm, this is not Brother." Natalia said then she snarled. "WhErE iS BROTHER?"

Arthur blushed and buried himself under the sheets. Marianne got out and put on a robe. "I do not know where your brother is. Why are you two even here?"

"This.." Natalia pointed to the weeping Alfred. "found you by phone. He thought it was Madeline's phone."

"Phone? Oh I took hers because I seem to have lost mine." The mother said as if she was a flake, then she looked at Alfred angrily."Alfred! What did I say about spying on Madeline and what are you wearing?"

He cried and kept his position. "Please put on clothing!" He begged. "I do not want to have this image stuck in my head!" He waved his hand frantically.

She sighs and puts on her blouse and skirt. "Okay I'm wearing clothes."

Alfred slowly looked up. "I'm sorry."

"You too, Natalia. This obsession needs to stop. Why don't you two get to-"

"Gah!" Alfred screamed. "Sorry Mom, gotta go!" He grabbed onto Natalia and ran for it.

Marianne sighs and turns back to a very naked Arthur that is still underneath the sheets. She smiles deviously. "Sweetheart, ready for another round?"

...

"What was that for?" Natalia screams at Alfred when he finally stopped. "Why did you run away?"

Alfred blushed and looked away from her. "Let's just focus on finding Maddie and your brother."

She nodded, watching him speculatively.

After hours, of checking everywhere possible. They were tired.

"That's it! I'm going home. He has to go there eventually." Natalia said, as she gave up from fatigue.

Alfred looked at her with puppy eyes. "Please stay! We're probably getting close."

"We've been searching for hours and found only dead ends. Every time we thought we were close, it was actually somebody else." She said irritated.

"That's it!" Alfred shouted as he realized how the couple played them.

"What?"

"They're not dressed as they normally do. They're incognito so we couldn't find them!" He said, excitedly.

"That actually makes sense." She said mildly impressed.

"Okay, let's see it's about 6 o clock...Oh."

"What?"

"Maddie is probably home right now. She always comes home during this time." He said sheepishly.

Natalia stared at him and whacked him. "I'm going home then." She walks away and Alfred just watches her, holding his jaw.

Alfred then goes home.

...

"Alfred, what happened?" Madeline asked her brother as she saw a slight redness on his jaw.

Alfred just sat down and stared blankly into space.

Madeline waved her hands in front of his face and shook her head at him.

"Alfred! Earth to Alfred."

Nothing.

"Hmm." She thought of something. "Alfred, me and Ivan are getting married!"

"What!" That got Alfred back to normal.

"I'm joking." She smiles. "So what happened?"

"Nat hit me."

"Okay? What did you do this time?"

"What! I only got hit because of you!"

"What?" Madeline seemed confused.

"Me and Nat were trying to find you and that communist bastard, but what we thought was you two it was actually two people posing as him and Feliks was you!"

"Yeah, we did that on purpose. I knew you would follow us so I called Ivan to create a diversion. He wanted to just hit you over the head with a hockey stick, tie you up in a tree, and let Maria have her way with you."

Alfred's eyes widened ten-fold. "Please don't let her get me."

"I still don't understand how you're scared of her but you can handle Natalia."

"Because she's special!" He whined.

"Well, I'm not mad at you because I finally got to do something so.." Madeline said and then smiled blissfully.

This made Alfred pale a bit. "You didn't do it, did you?"

"What?" Madeline said offendedly, "No I wouldn't do that! We finally kissed, that's all."

"I'm going to kill him! How dare he defile you!"

"Alfred, I kissed him."

He made a face of despair."WHA-"

"That's it I'm sending pictures of you dressed as a cheerleader to Natalia." She whipped out her phone and was ready to send it.

"I'm sorry, please don't do that either." He said meekly.

"That's what I thought. Now go and change. You look ridiculous." Madeline started up the stairs to her room but turned around to him, midway. "At least you got to spend the day with her, right?"

Alfred cheered up. "Yes I did!" He smiled cheerfully.


End file.
